Tuesday, Apr. 29, 2003 - 10:57 a.m.

Well it seems T has shut me out once again. I am tired of this bullshit. I am tired of feeling lost without him. I am tired of heart ache and broken wings. I am tired of letting others destroy my spirit little by little. I let him work his way into my life and allowed myself to depend on him for too many things. I have to learn to depend on MYSELF for happiness peace and healing. It is NOT something the wounded child within me wants to do. She is always looking for someone to lean on... some companionship. I no longer have that.

Whatever.

Like I said I can do whatever is necessary to survive and I will. Even things that probably end up hurting me in the end always sooth me for the moment. Sometimes a temporary patch is all I look for, even if it is only for a short time. I suppose it is my way of proving to myself that just because one person rejects me in one way or another, there is always someone else out there who accepts me and wants me in that way. But then, those are in fact only temporary and serve no other purpose. The real thing comes from within me.

::Last Five Notions::
Happy but Bored - Wednesday, Apr. 20, 2011
Stepdaughter1 - Tuesday, Mar. 15, 2011
frack - Thursday, Dec. 23, 2010
t-day2b - Wednesday, Nov. 24, 2010
fraking fraked up - Sunday, Nov. 14, 2010

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