Saturday, Apr. 26, 2003 - 1:28 p.m.

Well I finally made it to the cabin. A house-sitting job I got over the summer cloes to the lake. It is very nice and peaceful.

I miss T. Things between us had gotten better since mid-week and seem to be staying that way. I am glad. I need to know he loves me. No matter how much or how far we are apart I still love him and need him in my life. My eyes well with tears just thinking about not being able to be with him as much now. I don't know where I would be if it weren't for him. He saved me in many ways. I recently got some pictures developed of things we did together in the fall. I miss so much spending time with him. I've never met a man that made me feel that way. I never wanted to be apart and still don't if I had my way. He was so good to me and we enjoyed so many things together. Things between us always felt "right" until he put me through the cold shoulder treatment the past few weeks.

If forced, I can do what I have to do to move on and survive, but I'd rather it not be that way between us and I am glad he hasn't shut me out like he did for a while. I'd much rather see us have peace and harmony between each other, even if that means allowing ourselves to feel emotions for each other rather than shutting each other out. That is the worst. My head gets messed up and I end up doing stupid things to cover up the pain. That isn't healthy.

Still no job but I've only applied to one place. I hope to hear soon from them. If not something will come up. I am not too worried about it honestly. I am so happy to be away from that hellacious job I had before. The break from working has been very good for me despite all the other stressful situations in my life. I have to try to resolve one thing at a time.

*sigh* *relief* *smile*

::Last Five Notions::
Happy but Bored - Wednesday, Apr. 20, 2011
Stepdaughter1 - Tuesday, Mar. 15, 2011
frack - Thursday, Dec. 23, 2010
t-day2b - Wednesday, Nov. 24, 2010
fraking fraked up - Sunday, Nov. 14, 2010

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