Saturday, May. 08, 2004 - 12:15 a.m.

well I havent' written in a long time. And I guess now that no one I know (who is important) even reads this journal anymore, I can finally write what I need to write here.

The way I've felt about Thomas the past few months... especially weeks ... I just want him to be happy even if that means I'm not in his life anymore. I know he has a lot of mental/emotional problems. I just wanted to help him. I loved him... but I guess you can't do much for a person passed a certain point that they will let you.

After all, my readers can look back and see what I've been through and what I've put up with from him, I'm sure it is in plain sight that it wasn't working. I wish it could have but he is not man enough to accept or deal with an adult relationship yet. Not one that involves any level of committment. Plus I sort of feel he took advantage of my compassionate heart. On the other hand it is my fault for not being wiser sooner. Lucky for me - I WILL be from now on.

Furthermore, I've asked the Universe that all psychic ties to me be cut. If I had one with him, then I guess it was cut Wednesday night. That might explain part of his behavior, since that means he cannot control or manipulate me anymore as he always has. That would signify to me that since he cannot have that power over me he doesn't want me in his life anymore.

I don't care. I just want to KNOW that he is happy and well. That is all I care about. I loved him. I want him to have what he wants. I can accept if it isn't me. That is fine, because I have my own life and I am very happy in it. I just want him to be happy apart from me ... but NOT HATE me. Or resent me.

Besides - all I've ever done to him is be good to him.

::Last Five Notions::
Happy but Bored - Wednesday, Apr. 20, 2011
Stepdaughter1 - Tuesday, Mar. 15, 2011
frack - Thursday, Dec. 23, 2010
t-day2b - Wednesday, Nov. 24, 2010
fraking fraked up - Sunday, Nov. 14, 2010

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