::before:: ::now:: ::talk to me:: ::my profile:: ::cast:: ::diaryland:: My
Mood at the Moment:
Tuesday, Aug. 30, 2005 - 8:42 p.m. Today I had my first reflexology class. It was awesome, but something brought up lots of grief and despair. It was about 3:45-4:00 and I suddenly had a wailing of grief and loss come up inside me. My first thought, was that it was mom. I worried and worried. Laying there on the table thinking what if she wasn't ok. Someone had mentioned something about "not hearing a heart beat" that set me off, worrying about her. So I was almost having a panic attack. But I jumped up off the table and ran to get my phone from the car to call... and she was fine. Still, though... I could NOT shake the feeling. I left, went by the store, and felt like I was being torn apart. From where this energy came I had NO idea. Since my family was fine, I called David to make sure he was too. He was fine. Walking through the store I felt scattered, uneven, anxious, worried, and had overwhelming grief. Then I thought of the recent trauma New Orleans has suffered, and thought maybe I was experiencing the collective consciousness of despair that all the other souls in that area are feeling - the cries for help and the anxt of agony. So I breathed, and released it back out into the Universe. I am ok now, but felt compelled to write here since I haven't in a while. I recently bought a book call "Conversations with God" by Neal Donald Walsh. Along with "The Book of Secrets" by Deepak Chopra (one of my fave authors). They have been profound, nay, LIFE CHANGING books. I HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend them to anyone wanting to entertain a philisophical question of ANY sort or proportion. Also, I've been watching "What the Bleep Do We Know" numerous times over the past few days. ALSO PROFOUND. If you do nothing else over the next 48 hours (or lifetime, for that matter), go out and rent, check out or buy these precious bits of information. THEY WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. It is changing mine. It is changing US. It is making Me re-member "I AM". If You do not Go WITH-IN YOU GO WITH-OUT. A reason I'm happy today? *** Magic Potions***
MANY. Oh. And T just wrote me today. I don't know how or if I should respond. I have to meditate and breathe. BREATHE. JUST BREATHE. With that thought, I give my snaps to Anna Nalick for her wonderful song, "2 AM", and dedicate it to my homegirls Lyndsay, Rika and Leslie: 2 Am and she calls me cause I'm still awake Cause you can't jump the track May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss Cause you can't jump the track *There's a light at the end of this tunnel you shout cause you're just as far IN as you'll ever be OUT 2Am and I'm still awake writing this song But you can't jump the track
ALLONE AT-ONE-MENT * ALLWAYS
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